"Look faggot… you want into my frat then you gotta do two things. First, bring me another beer, and second, get down here and suck this fuckin’ cock. Jenn’s on the rag this week, and I need to blow some nut."
"Yeah, pics are cool… just don’t post it on Tumblr ‘cause my wife has a gardening page on there. In fact, don’t post it anywhere unless you edit out my face. Now bend over and show me some ass. You queers like it raw, right?… ‘cause I don’t carry around condoms."